


You Are Our Sunshine

by LightWriting98



Category: UP10TION
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Drinking or mentions of Drinking, I swear I love Yein, If it does I will change the rating, M/M, May have mature content in later chapters, Mentions of insecurities, Multi, but it will be all of the up10tion guys, does have an overall plot of sorts, each chapter can be taken as a oneshot though, i will be adding the ships and characters as the chapters come, no actual relationships will form, only heart break, some internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightWriting98/pseuds/LightWriting98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was the type of guy everyone had a crush on at least once if not still currently. He was perfectly imperfect, he was beautiful, he was handsome, he was attractive. He was Seon Yein, stage name Sunyoul, and some of his group members felt like perverts for admitting how they felt about him. None of them could help falling for him. They couldn’t fight falling for him, and none of them wanted to resist. They loved him like he was their Sunshine. They loved him, but in the end they hurt him more. They couldn’t help loving and hurting the guy who had more love than he could share. They couldn’t help hurting the guy that honestly loved them all back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> AKA me torturing one of my biases because I love him. I really do love Yein, but for some reason I want to hurt him. It’s not going to get better though. Lots of angst and bad relationships/communication. I swear I love Yein. I really do but I felt the need for angst. Yein will not be happy.  
> It will have an overall plot of sorts but each chapter can be taken as a oneshot.  
> I will be switching between stage names and real names for symbolic reasons and feels. But it shouldn't be too confusing since chapters will be just Yein/Sunyoul and the member the chapter is about.

That oval face that was so warm and welcoming. That bunny face that so easily got hearts to melt and smile with its own smile. A face too soft to come off as intimidating even when frustrated with knitted brows. A smile that spoke of the sun in its owner’s name. A face so fit for aegyo and small earnest smiles. He was so comfortable showing a side that wasn’t manly. Soft, hearty, plump lips that curled over every word in the softest way possible. Those slightly bucked bunny like front teeth that added a child’s innocent to his already gentle face. 

Then there was his rounded but strong jawline. The force and strength in his high notes that sang of his resilience. The way everyone would gap with surprise when his shirt rose to reveal the six pack of abs that were carved into his torso. The intense look on his face while he was focused during a performance. The sharpness of his dancing and the rippling effect it had on his muscular thighs, and the curve of his ass that was present in any pair of jeans that made everyone turn to steal a glance. 

He had it all. The softness people would seek out in women, the strength and edge of a man. The loving nature that guaranteed a crush, and the talents plus charm to make it intoxicating. All of this combined was enough to attract the curious.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that he was the mother of the group, or that he seemed to take pride in it. That he was the one looking after them and keeping them in line alongside the eldest Leaders. Yet it was those acts of kindness mixed with his blunt directness and awkward shy side that got the rest thinking. Thinking of how they felt and the warmth he brought. Thinking of how nice it would be to hold him. How nice it would be to have him all to himself. How nice it would be to take all of him whole and to devour all that was him. How they just wanted to lock him away and keep that sun like warmth all to their own selfish selves. He was the type of guy everyone had a crush on at least once if not still currently. He was perfectly imperfect, he was beautiful, he was handsome, he was attractive. He was Seon Yein, stage name Sunyoul, and some of his members felt like perverts for admitting how they felt about him. 

None of them could help falling for him. They couldn’t fight falling for him, and none of them wanted to resist. Even though they saw it as hopeless or felt they couldn’t have him. So they loved him as best they could. As the mother of the group, as a fellow member, as a brother, as their crush, as the one they couldn’t have even though they really could. They loved him like he was their Sunshine. They loved him, but in the end they hurt him more. They couldn’t help loving and hurting the guy who had more love than he could share. They couldn’t help hurting the guy that honestly loved them all back.


	2. The Last Born and First to Fall (Xiao)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Maknae might be the one that fell the hardest and missed out on the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of internalized homophobia in this chapter though not exactly directly addressed. Angst is to be expected. It's not happy.

The youngest fell first. The one least ready, the one most homesick, and the one most desperate for his affection and attention. He made Xiao feel loved, he made Dongyeol feel loved. He comforted him when that longing was too much. He held him when he couldn’t support himself and wiped away the tears that would fall with the most patient and caring of faces. It felt like Yein gave his all to him. To the young kid who was just a rascal trouble maker whose parts were minor or just in the chores but who’s presence was clear. The Maknae felt like his need for care and affection had finally been met. Like Sunyoul would hold him and only him forever. 

That wasn’t the case though. Yein didn’t care for Xiao alone, it would have been selfish to even think it was only him that Yein cared for. Yet he wanted to be selfish. To have those bright smiles only directed at him. For Yein to only sit by him so they could chat and make light conversation between questions and signings. He wanted to feel like Yein loved him in a non-platonic way. Xiao was jealous since he couldn’t have Yein, and it also worried him that he wanted Yein in such a way. 

He felt disgusted in himself and like a confused fool for feeling this way towards a man. Regardless of how “feminine” he was or how motherly, he was a man nonetheless. How could he let this happen? Let these feelings cultivate? He was young, sure, and he knew he was curious about a lot of things. He didn’t have much experience with romance past the feelings of a crush. So feeling this way towards a guy left him nervous. How could he do this? He felt like a pervert, that it wasn’t right. Despite every reason he had to love Sunyoul, to love Yein, he still had a faint voice in the back of his head reminding him that he was a guy, a voice saying it shouldn’t happen, saying it was just because he seemed like a woman, saying he’d ruin everything if his secret ever got out. 

It left the Maknae fragile. He wanted to believe the comforting touches were something more. That the care he was given was a sign of deeper feelings. He wanted the quick kisses placed on the top of his head to be more than just fan-service or platonic signs of affection that were waved off a second later. He craved more of every brush of skin afterwards. Replaying the memory of the warmth of every bit of skin to skin contact. Daring not to touch right after, hoping the warmth would return, and just hoping the sensation would linger. 

So he kept pretending. Pretending it didn’t affect him, that nothing ever happened, that he didn’t miss his touch when he goes so much as a day without it. But how could he when he did miss it. How could he act like he doesn’t miss every interaction? That he doesn’t miss the affection and looks? That he doesn't miss the small kisses or shared nights? How could he not miss that one night? 

That night where Xiao felt especially vulnerable. The night where Yein came to find him in tears and held him close against his chest where Xiao could hear his heart beating rapidly. When Yein held Xiao while whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to sooth him. Yein repeatedly whispering, “It’s okay, I’m here, I love you.” That night where Yein held him trying to calm him, refusing to let go, giving him pleasant kisses on his head. It made his heart hurt a little more later but he wanted to believe the I love you’s meant something. That night where it did mean something as Yein looked him in the eye while saying it, followed with a loving kiss that didn’t stop. He didn’t stop kissing him, and Xiao didn’t want him to either. He just wanted to hold him through the night, and he did, they held and grasped at each other, breathless, in desperation to just get closer. The feeling of warmth they swam through when they laid down holding each other into the night. Falling asleep in each other’s arms, to the sound of each other’s heartbeats, and Xiao swearing they fell asleep with their heartbeats in sync. 

Xiao couldn’t complain that he missed everything he could have had with Yein. Xiao couldn’t say he wanted Yein even though he really did. He lost the ability to say that with any strength when he woke up, still in Yein’s arms, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep in his warm protective arms; but felt he couldn’t, felt he shouldn’t, and left the bed while Yein was still asleep. Since he got up and pretended that nothing happened and kept up the act in front of Yein even though Yein looked genuinely hurt by it. He can’t say it, since Yein didn’t call him out on his act and Xiao didn’t make an effort to address it either. 

Xiao let things lay where they were with Sunyoul. The night that happened become such a distant memory that if any of the feeling of that night were brought up, they probably could have been denied. Xiao knows he’d deny it to the other members but hoped Yein would ask. But it didn’t come up. He kept caring for Xiao, giving him worried glances, making sure he was okay, and giving secret kisses on Xiao’s head that he’d shy away from as if they hurt, or ignore them as if they didn’t happen. The looks that could have been something more, the phrases that could have been misinterpreted, the lingering touches, the offers to keep him company through the night. These occurrences becoming less frequent to the point it could be just friendship, that it was only a hyung watching over his maknae. 

Xiao’s crying lessened, Yein’s offers and comfort still stood though. “You can still talk to me. It doesn’t have to be about that.” “About what?” “You know what… We should talk about it though. We need to talk about it.” “… I don’t know what you’re talking about Hyung.” Xiao could only deny his feelings. After he left them out and open he could only run and hide from his feelings. He could only bottle up the feelings of guilt he had when Yein would try to bring it up and was pained when Xiao changed the subject. 

Xiao felt disgusted with himself. He’d probably hurt Yein, he’d hurt himself, and he denied it all. He’d caused such an emotional burden. He felt sick to his stomach when he found his own gaze still following Yein. He listened to the voice in the back of his mind that reminded him that Yein was a guy, the voice that said it shouldn’t have ever happened. He felt like a pervert when he finally excepted that he’d still pick Yein over the girls in his class, and he felt like he was at a loss when he realized he could have been with Yein if he hadn’t backed out and got out of bed that morning. He felt desperate when he came to terms with the fact that he had been, and still was, in love with a man named Seon Yein.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Adele's rolling in the deep playing* They could've had it all~  
> They also didn’t have sex or anything. /That Night/ was basically just aggressively desperate cuddling/hugging. NO SEX, Xiao is still a minor by Korean standards.  
> I also feel like if Xiao were to have internalized homophobia it would probably be more socially based/media driven. He seems to come from a very loving and excepting family so I would like to believe they would be fine with Xiao’s romantic preferences regardless of gender. Really only adds to the angst of the story and the complication that usually comes with realizing oneself to not be straight/heteromantic.  
> This series will have a few headcanons and by no means depict these guy's actual sexuality/romantic preferences


	3. Barking Husky (Hwanhee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hwanhee fell for Sunyoul, followed after him like a puppy, begging for attention, but his infatuation didn't last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does have some ranting and redundancy.  
> A lot less angst than was in Xiao's chapter but it is longer.

Hwanhee had the image of a rascal. His husky voice gave him a more masculine impression. He was loud and one of the beagles of the group. He rarely ever shied away from attention, he loved it, and he was confident in his abilities. Yet Sunyoul got him to think twice, not out of hesitance but mostly out of precaution.

Sunyoul cared about the members, Yein cared about the members. Yein watched out for them, made sure they ate properly, and was always there to comfort them if they ever needed it. Yein was fairly affectionate, with light shoulder bumps, hugs that didn’t need to be asked for, arms that hung over the other’s shoulder and clung so naturally. His smile was so bright and so direct it would make the person on the receiving end feel like they were the only person in the room. Hwanhee loved Yein’s attention and the feeling of that loving gaze being directed at only him.

The addictive feeling of Yein’s touch and voice. Hwanhee wanted him. Wanted Sunyoul all to himself. He wanted nothing more than to be able to hold Sunyoul without a care in the world. He didn’t care that Sunyoul was a guy, so long as that joyful smile kept coming his way he could go on with the strength of 10 men. He wanted Sunyoul all to himself. He didn’t want to admit to it but he knew himself well enough to realize he eventually would.

Yein wasn’t very feminine, aside from his voice Hwanhee saw him as a very masculine member of the group. Yein gave his all during practice, sweat dripping after consecutive tries at the same routine, occasionally pulling at his shirt to cool off with his abs peeking out from underneath. He even worked out after practice, toning his muscles and keeping his abs defined. Yein, who was among the members that worked the hardest and had some of the most defined muscles but was still considered the weakest of the group. Hwanhee admired the amount of dedication and effort Yein put into things, especially his looks. 

“Hyung, can I work out with you?” Hwanhee had asked once, ready to start that very moment if Yein said yes.  
But Yein just chuckled, smiling, while he sat up on the floor leaning on his knees, “I don’t mind but you worked hard today. Have you eaten? You should get something to eat or at least rest. Go out to eat with one of the other guys, I don’t think Wooseok has eaten yet.”  
“But I wanted to work out with you Hyung. I want to get abs like you.” Hwanhee tried to sit next to Yein to start copying his work out but Yein stood up pulling him back up with him.  
“You work hard enough as it is. Even if you want to improve your abs you don’t need too. Go eat.” Yein patted his stomach and dragged him out at that point, insisting he go eat something and rest for the night. He said it all with a smile. 

Yien cared. He made every effort to make sure all the members, Hwanhee included, were well. He didn’t let any of them skip a meal and made sure they all rested every night. Yein was willing to spend the afternoon with them, and willing to listen to them when they wanted to talk about more personal feelings. He was called the mother of the group and in many ways he fit the roll. 

Hwanhee admired that about Yein. He admired how he was a strong shoulder for the others to lean on. Yein had a lot to offer and Hwanhee found his gaze trailing as Yein would go comfort the other members. He’d watch as Yein was affectionate and gave his attention to the other boys. He’d glance over, watching carefully. Checking when he felt eyes and cameras wouldn’t notice. A protective or maybe more territorial side of him telling him not to look away. 

He was fine with admitting to himself that he was a bit jealous, even envious. He was fine with telling himself that it was just him being selfish when he wanted Sunyoul to himself. He even wanted to admit it openly to the other members but felt it would be better if he didn’t. He didn’t want to keep it in though. 

Hwanhee was a bit blunt. If he felt he needed to say something he tried not to hesitate in saying it. This also worked against him when he was nervous or it was a sensitive topic, he’d be blunt to try getting things over with. So when he finally had a moment with Yein he did end up being a bit blunter than he should have been. 

“I’m jealous. I don’t want to share hyung’s attention.” Hwanhee didn’t even think twice about it as the complaint escaped him, and Yein just chuckled.  
“Ah, is the other Maknae craving attention? Do you want to watch an action movie together than?” He was smiling as he offered, it was almost belittling, but Hwanhee still excepted. 

Hwanhee liked different parts of Yein. He liked how his lips curled when he smiled and the way his eyes smiled with him. He liked how Yein sounded when he was singing, and how he sounded when he was surprised, and when he was just talking. He liked the way Yein looked when he walked and he like the way he looked when he was just sitting around. Hwanhee was guilty of watching Sunyoul when they were practicing and watching him when he was sweating alone while he worked out. Sunyoul finally let him practice with him but Hwanhee was mostly spending his rests watching as Yein heaved during his reps. He knew he shouldn’t be staring but his addiction didn’t let him feel too guilty. 

Sunyoul was addictive, his charms were more than enough to capture his attention and after a certain point Hwanhee had to admit he was more than a little infatuated. He wanted to keep Sunyoul to himself. So he’d steal what time he could. He’d ask to spend time with Yein after practice and talk with him between breaks or while they were getting makeup done for a recording. He’d watch, with silent jealousy, when any of the other members was given Yein’s attention. He’d watch as Yein comforted Xiao, or when he’d sing little bits of songs for Wooshin. He’d listen as Yein gave what little advice he could to Gyujin. Any attention he gave to other members, Hwanhee wanted all those interactions for himself. 

He felt like an ugly person when he realized how bad his selfishness was and how his interactions had ulterior motives. He wanted to steal every touch he could from Sunyoul. Taking his time as they walked together and letting his own hand stretch a bit too far out so it’d brush against Sunyoul’s. He’d hang over Sunyoul, draping his arms over him whenever the other was sitting down. He’d try to make Yein laugh just to see his smile and hear the sweet sound of it. 

His husky voice and masculine impression didn’t stop him from falling for Sunyoul. The impression it could give didn’t stop him from wanting to confess. The fact that he barely thought it through didn’t stop him either. A few late night movies and a few too many bad jokes and Hwanhee felt like sharing. 

“I like you Hyung. Only give your attention to me.”  
“It must be pretty late than. You don’t mean that, you’re just tired.” Yein was chuckling bashfully, avoiding eye contact as he got up to leave.  
“I do mean it Hyung. Stay with me.” Hwanhee was leaning forward, holding Yein’s wrist to keep him from leaving.  
“… You’re fine with this?”  
“I have no reason to not be.”  
“… We can try… but you need to be honest with me.” Hwanhee pulled him back down at that point holding him through the rest of the movie to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

They tried. Hwanhee was grateful that Yein was willing to give him a chance. Things shifted slightly in their interactions. Not enough for the others to really notice but enough that Hwanhee felt like Sunyoul was an addiction he couldn’t kick. A few hugs that lasted too long, looks that meant more than they should, quick kisses in secluded corners that no one saw. He didn’t want to escape the addiction of his new found drug. 

He couldn’t get enough of Sunyoul. That smile that left him feeling like the world was at peace and the warmth of his touch that left him in tranquility. Hwanhee was sure he couldn’t be happier, and was glade that, even though Yein still showed his care for the other members, he was getting more attention. He had Yein to himself when they worked out together, he got his attention during breaks, and he got the most laughs out of Yein with the simplest jokes. 

Hwanhee also started to become a bit more introspective about his feelings. After a while Yein started to ask for honesty. Did Hwanhee really want this? was he actually serious about it? did he really mean any of the things he was saying? He didn’t answer him directly, for once he wanted to take the time to think. Reflecting on his feelings he had to wonder if he loved Yein. He thought about what he found drawing his attention to him. It was the more masculine parts of Yien, the way he looked and the attention he had to give. The main reason Hwanhee even confessed was because he wanted Yein to himself, but he wasn’t sure what part of Yein he wanted. 

Hwanhee spent more time than he should have needed to figure it out. Enough time for it to worry Yein. So long that when Yein finally asked him if he even could give an answer, it hit him like a ton of bricks as he finally realized it. 

“No… I don’t think I love you… I just wanted Hyung’s attention…” Hwanhee wasn’t even looking at Yein when he said it. Just staring off once he realized it. 

The only reason Hwanhee confessed was because he envied the attention the others were getting. It was only because he liked the idea of being in love with Sunyoul. Only felt infatuated because he liked Sunyoul’s body and how warm his touch felt. He knew he was an ass for admitting it the way he did, but Yein just gave a silent oh, looked elsewhere and walked away. Hwanhee didn’t see much of a reaction to feel bad about causing. 

He wanted Sunyoul’s attention and he got it. He had it for long enough to clear the clouds in his head that formed because of Sunyoul. He only liked his body and found certain traits admirable. He didn’t truly love him and only liked the idea of what it would be like. It was selfish of him to do what he did but he couldn’t go back, and no amount of additional apologies would give it less of a sting. Even after all that, Hwanhee still got Yein’s attention. The little trip up wasn’t going to stop Yein from caring about the members, he still worried over them and doted on them. Hwanhee wasn’t as bitter over other people getting Yein’s smile directed at them. Hwanhee also wasn’t spending the extra time with Yein to work out. His relation with Yein barely changed from how it was before, they just weren’t as affectionate as often anymore. 

Hwanhee didn’t love Yein for how he was, he didn’t love him at all. He just liked his image, he liked how he looked, and that was something he knew he should get over. He was just a kid wanting the attention of his senior, he wasn’t going to die without it, he’d be fine without Yein liking him in a romantic sense. Because of that he was fine with moving on. He didn’t see a problem with it, so he didn’t notice that Yein’s smile was a little less bright when directed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s weird writing for Hwanhee and this is probably a bit ooc.  
> I feel Hwanhee is probably confident enough in himself that he wouldn’t have a “gay scare” he probably wouldn’t think much about gender when it comes to who he likes. I mostly just painted him as an ass though and I feel pretty bad about that.  
> I had actually finished this chapter the day after I finished Xiao but I've been working on building up a backlog. I plan to update this weekly from now on. 'Less I end up with a very busy week I should be able to keep up with that.  
> I had Xiao as desperately in love and Hwanhee as attention seeking. I swear I don’t hate the Maknae line.


	4. The Noble's Fall (Kogyeol)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kogyeol was titled the flower boy for a reason. He's a romantic by heart, and those ideals of romance can make for great dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some mentions of drinking in this chapter. This chapter is pretty sweet, but it's still not a happy ending.

Kogyeol was a charmer. With his strong sweet voice and bright eyes his charisma was evident. His sense of humor was a bit odd but decent nonetheless. Even if his jokes were bad people couldn’t help but laugh as it unfolded. He’d smile through it all, playing along with any joke played on him. He enjoyed the laughter of others, to see them happy and having a good time. That was part of the reason he had no shame in his freestyle raps, he knew they weren’t superb but people still enjoyed it. He was one of the emotional singers of the group, who had the ability to make hearts melt as melodies fell from his lips and beautiful notes escaped his guitar.

Minsoo was a flower boy by heart. The confidence he had in his acts and cuteness left people no other choice than to smile. He showed off what he could, his smile, his lips, his ass, and most of all his talent. He was open about a lot of things when it came to himself. Minsoo felt little need to be reserved. He was affectionate and the Up10tion guys were fine with it, even when he opened up and confessed that he was interested, not just in women but men too. He was a romantic and didn’t feel gender was an obstacle. The guys were accepting and respected that. Minsoo couldn’t be more grateful for that.

Minsoo found that Yein was the most accepting and was extremely supportive, but he had the suspicion that it was because Yein was of a similar state. Yein spent a lot of time with Minsoo after he came out. They were already close and managed to get closer. They were able to talk about nothing and everything together. They were comfortable enough with each other that they felt they could share anything with each other. Minsoo was fine talking about men with Yein, and he didn’t complain. Eventually Yein shared, “…I like men too… I don’t know about women, but I like men.” Minsoo pulled Yein to his side smiling down at him, “I’m glad you could trust me with that.” Yein just smiled and laughed as they went on with their conversation.

They were close, probably because of the additional companionship over their sexualities. It was comforting to be reminded that they weren’t the only ones around that didn’t fit the societal norm. They’d also bond over the silliest things. Singing songs horribly out of tune, singing to each other, dancing to girl group songs together, and doing terrible imitations. They were comfortable with each other. Minsoo felt fine letting out how dorky he was around Yein.

They tried other group’s dances together, practicing them to perfection, listening to the songs until memorized, and letting them become their own songs. They sang love songs, watched new romcoms together, and went out to eat when they both had the time. When eyes and cameras weren’t watching they tended to gravitate together. Leaning on each other, soliciting laughs from one another with the worst jokes, sharing passing touches, and talking over meals that were never warm by the time they finished. Minsoo could cherish those nights that they spent together. The nights where they could just eat ramen together, laughing over the bad plots or jokes in a romcom together.

Minsoo was a flower boy, charms were his talent. Yet he couldn’t help being charmed himself by the boy that sang high notes and tried to be the group mother. Minsoo would admit to spending a few tiring nights considering what a relationship with the younger ’96 liner would be like. He wondered if some of the laughs might have come too easily, if some of the looks were more than glances, or if the warmth of a few touchs could have been a sign. So he watched. Minsoo kept his observant eyes on Yein. Watching how he doted on the other members, watching as he’d jump around anxious before each performance, or how he’d sometimes laugh with a blunt comment after some of their mistakes.

Minsoo saw little reason to hold back with Yein, they could talk freely. Yein, in some of his lower moods, would confide in Minsoo. On the rare occasion that they drank Yein would share what could be considered too much. Talking about how he felt and how terrible he thought his love life was. Yein would mention just wanting to stay close to someone while clinging to Minsoo. Even if Minsoo had a few too many drinks himself he’d stay with Yein during these episodes, just holding Yein until he fell asleep. 

Minsoo liked being close to Yein, holding him and laughing with him. Without even realizing at first, Minsoo started seeking out Yein’s company. Sharing more skinship with him than he had before, putting more effort into making him laugh than with the other up10tion members, and spending more time staring after him when he passed by. Minsoo’s own attraction finally hit him, that was when he started actively trying to charm Yein.

When Yein was lower in energy Minsoo would insist on taking him out to eat and follow it with a few light drinks, making sure neither of them had too much. If he went out shopping on his own and he saw something he thought Yein might like he rarely hesitated to buy it. And on the occasion that Minsoo was awake late into the night, and walked through the dorm to find Yein passed out in their common room or hunched over a table, he’d grab a cup of water, gently shake Yein awake, then lead Yein to his room so he’d rest properly leaving the water by his bedside. Minsoo honestly cared for Yein. As a flower boy he had his own way of charming others. For Minsoo, care was the best way to open the doors to romance. His care for Yein functioned both as his actual feelings and as his charms.

Yein however didn’t seem to catch on. Yein would just smile thanking Minsoo after every sign of kindness, and Minsoo wanted him more. When they practiced dances together Minsoo stole more touches, making it seem like he just stepped too close, or directing his movements with his own hands if Yein was close enough for it to seem like an easier way to help. Minsoo insisted Yein lean on him when they sat together in the dorm. Watching a movie meant Minsoo sitting closer to Yein than he needed to and pulling Yein closer when he’d inch away. Catching Yein sleeping outside his room late at night meant Minsoo taking a spare blanket, readjusting Yein to rest more comfortably; waiting an hour in case he woke up on his own before finally waking Yein and guiding him to his room making sure he slept in his bed.

Minsoo was confident. He knew he was embarrassing occasionally but he had enough confidence to act. On one of their days off, when most of the other members already had plans together or were just going to rest, Minsoo asked Yein to go see a movie with him. Yein didn’t have other plans, he smiled when Minsoo suggested it and started moving to get ready to leave.

Minsoo paid for the movie, picking it out to surprise Yein, and insisted they share a medium popcorn. When Yein kept pressing to know which movie it was Minsoo kept shaking his head chuckling as he looked away from Yein’s own laughing face. When the lights finally dimmed they quieted down with the crowd, Minsoo glad for the chance to clear his mind. When the opening scenes finally started playing Minsoo looked to his side to see that Yein recognized the Romance movie.  
“Oh, I thought maybe you wanted to see that RomCom that came out last month again. I was wondering about this movie.” Yein had smiled up at him, even in the dark lighting Minsoo still saw the sun in his face.  
“Yeah I remember you said you were excited about it. I thought it’d be nice to see it together.” Minsoo was turned slightly to look at Yein seeing Yein’s modest smile forming as he looked down.

The movie carried on. The cliché straight plot boring the two of them abit. They’d chuckle making comments to one another as they continued watching. When a romantically tense moment came up Minsoo caught Yein chuckling. The male lead was confessing to the his main love interest. Minsoo looked over, tapping on Yein’s shoulder to get his attention.  
“Would you date me?”  
It caught Yein off guard, he looked over his eye wide as he stuttered, “uh, that’s kind of sudden... I-I mean I never really thought about that…”  
“I’m serious though. I’d like to date you. Won’t you go out with me?”  
“Oh... and asking this during a confession scene...” Yein was covering his cheeks as he looked everywhere but at Minsoo.  
“Would you give me a chance?”  
Yein looked up at Minsoo staring at him for a moment, “…yeah... okay, let’s give it a try.”  
Minsoo didn’t hesitate to shift a bit closer to Yein and lay an arm around his shoulder for the reset of the move, smiling as Yein leaned into him.

Minsoo would say they dated. He wouldn’t say that they were together but he felt they were seeing each other at the least. They were close on their way to a relationship. Catching each other staring, and chuckling at the sudden eye contact. A few shared glances, a few nights spent cuddling, and a few tired kisses that might have been treated more casually than they should have.  
Minsoo was a romantic and he wanted to pamper Yein, showering him with whispered compliments, stealing a few kisses when no one was looking. The laughs came easier, the smiles seemed brighter. Yein looked happy and Minsoo couldn’t help wanting to keep him that way. But he also wondered about actually committing to a relationship with Yein. Would they be able to handle it with the group? What if they had to sharing the news, would it change the group dynamic? Did Yein honestly feel happy with him? Did the flower boy ground himself to his own Sun?

But because he was a romantic Minsoo found himself looking for sparks. Waiting for a shock that would come from a meaningful touch, or a sense of euphoria after a shared kiss. Minsoo spent nights cuddling with Yein, trying to lull him to sleep. They shared late night kisses that shouldn’t have been initiated in the middle of the dorms even if the others weren’t awake. There were times drunk kisses were initiated and ended with them both giggling as they were tangled together before passing out together for the night. Touches that shouldn’t have lasted as long as they did, and meeting Yein’s gaze just for Yein to turn away after being caught staring. Yet Minsoo didn’t feel a spark.

He loved Yein, he cared about him and wanted him to be happy. Spending time with him and seeing him laugh left him feeling like things were right. Yein was dear to him and Minsoo wanted nothing more than to keep kissing his face, to leaving him blushing, for him to have a wide smile that showed off his bunny teeth and shined from his emotions. But Minsoo didn’t want to hurt him, he didn’t want to have Yein pulled through their courtship for so long that he’d feel committed. So minsoo shared how he felt.  
“I… I don’t think this is actually love. I want to love you but I don’t. I’m sorry.”  
Yein had a wide eyed looked on his face before turning his head down with a small frown on his face, “oh, well… thanks for at least telling me.”

Yein was upset, Minsoo could tell. He gave Yein his space before trying to comfort him. He still talked with Yein, and he was still willing to talk with Minsoo. Dating didn’t stop their friendship luckily. They could still confide in each other and that was something to be cherished. They still spent nights watching movies together and shared bad jokes. Minsoo would still guide Yein back to bed if he was passed out in the middle of the dorm. Things were relatively the same, they didn’t spend as much time together but still enjoyed each other’s company.

Minsoo did care about Yein, that’s why he ended things. Yein deserved to be with someone that would love him as wholeheartedly as Yein loved them. Minsoo was a romantic and was in love with the idea of being in love. Even though he knows how to love he knows it’s better if it’s genuine. Yein was close to him, but he felt a platonic love for Yein. Minsoo loved Yein as a friend and he was grateful that he could remain close to him after they stopped dating. Even though he could move past his false feelings he couldn’t help but feel guilt over how Yein’s smiles and laughs didn’t come as easily anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close yet so far. Could make the argument that Kogyeol actually did love Yein and just didn't recognize it.  
> Kogyeol seems like the type to like RomComs to me.  
> I think Kogyeol could be Bisexual, he seems like such a romantic that I doubt he would see dating another guy as odd.


	5. Brows Knitted (Gyujin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gyujin couldn't help falling for Yein, they were close and he felt so at ease with Yein. The warm feeling in his chest just grew and it seemed like they were on their way to a happy ending, but insecurities and over analysis can make that hard. Gyujin had an honest and innocent love, but insecurity can ruin some of the best things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over-analysis can really hurt a relationship.  
> It doesn't go too deep into the insecurities but it does get sad. So close and yet still so far from a happy end.  
> The innocent and honest type of love is the type that’s most painful when crushed.

Gyujin wasn’t sure how he felt about Yein. They were close from the beginning, with Yein being the mother of the group and the member closest to him in age. They talked with each other and Yein was affectionate with him. So he wasn’t sure what to make of the warm feeling that came up whenever Yein gave him his attention and listened to him wholeheartedly, or when Yein gave him a hug or encouraging pat on the butt. Yein often complimented him on his dancing and on his efforts to the group, tossing compliments at him without a second thought. Gyujin admired his abilities and talents too, he found Yein’s easy going side comforting. Gyujin knew that Yein wasn’t the most masculine of men but he was fine with accepting that about himself. Yein was also hardworking, he’d put a lot into his training for debut and he was and still is able to support the other members.

Yein gives more than he should. Gyujin notices how Yein is willing to give whenever needed. He gives his time, his strength, his comfort. Yein cares about all the members and he tries to make sure they’re all alright. Gyujin is grateful for what Yein has done for him, they’ve practiced together, trying to give support and direction where the other was lost, usually balancing each other out with the combined choreography. Yein has invited Gyujin to work out with him, pushing each other further. Gyujin has confided in Yein and Yein has shared a few of his thoughts as well.

Neither of them was comfortable talking about women when the other members would bring up the topic of noona fans. When it was just the two of them and silence fell over them Gyujin would try bring up the topic to release some tension but Gyujin himself never put much thought to women and Yein tended to fidget and shift in more discomfort. They still tried to struggle through the topic long enough for one of them to redirect their train of thought but it clearly wasn’t very enjoyable to either of them. Gyujin was cautious with his words, though he knew how kind Yein was to Minsoo when he came out, he wasn’t sure about himself. He didn’t know if he should come out, if it could even be called that since he never gave it much thought.

He wanted to talk with Yein though. Taking the time to think he considered his past attractions. He’s thought about people in general but it surprisingly enough wasn’t an active topic on his mind. Yet he recalled such thoughts usually being centered on men. Past thoughts of how attractive other men were or how he wondered if a gay man would find him attractive. He’s considered sex with men. Women have also been a thought on his mind but his opinions there weren’t very solidified.

Admittedly he did have a bit of a thing for men, soft men, kind men, men like Yein. He wasn’t entirely sure about everything but men were an option to him. Yein was a hope for him. So when silence presented itself before him and Yein, instead of trying another bothersome conversation about women, he hesitantly asked for a second opinion on the looks of the male lead in a movie they’d recently seen. The second moment of silence left Gyujin worried, worried he’d read things wrong, or that Yein wouldn’t approve even though Gyujin caught sight of Yein kissing Minsoo some time ago though he never revealed what he saw. But when Yein let out a sigh of what sounded like nervous relief before chuckling and conversing on the topic with Gyujin, he knew that he was in safe hands. In hands that understood.

Things went on. They could stay close and they had more to share. Conversations that could drift in any direction without a care. Jokes that arose just between the two of them. Times when Yein would joke and poke at his eyebrows whenever they were furrowed from frustration with his inner monologue. Gyujin was willing to share more with Yein and he felt that warm feeling in his chest grow with the shared intimacy.

Maybe it was because they were three movies into their movie marathon, or because all the other members had fallen asleep or left for bed, but Gyujin and Yein were just laughing together. The laughs were easy, they weren’t forced. Yein’s tired smile seeming even more genuine, highlighted by the dull glow from the movie. Watching his mouth curl into that bright smile and hearing his sweet voice complimenting him made Gyujin’s heart swell. He found himself clutching his chest smiling back and laughing. He was use to his thoughts of adoration for Yein but didn’t expect those words to escape him.  
“Ah, you’re so perfect. I love you.” Gyujin’s face was flush and it wasn’t until he looked up that he realized the words weren’t kept to himself.

Yein’s mouth was agape, eye’s blinking and darting around the room away from Gyujin. After realizing what happened Gyujin’s own mouth was opening and closing as he tried to formulate an apology or excuse for what he said. His mind going blank, he got up, waking some of the previously sleeping members, and left for his own room, hiding away, embarrassed that he could let that slip.

He didn’t address what happened and part of him hoped that Yein would leave it alone and let him move on from what he did. But Yein did address it, bring it up when they were out getting lunch and found that the other members had departed for different meals.  
“…About what you said before…during the movie…”  
“Sorry, it’s probably awkward for you. I shouldn’t have-“  
“No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I was just going to say that, if you want, we could try dating. Ah, but I understand if your feelings have changed. There’s no pressure.” Sunyoul was speaking quickly as if he was the one that originally confessed.  
“I…I’d like that…Yeah.” Gyujin accepted looking down as he felt Yein link their pinkies as they continued walking.

Gyujin's felt the warmth in his chest expanding. Yein was always caring but the additional attention he got from Yein left him giddy. A few sudden chuckles from odd looks or silly faces, and a rush of blood to his face when he caught Yein staring. The feelings of adoration he felt before only seemed to magnify with the additional attention. He was cautious though. He tried not to stare too much when they were around the other members. Tried not to let his blushing cheeks show when they sat close together with Yein tucking himself under Gyujin’s arm. 

Gyujin did feel like he could love Yein. The weight in his chest was innocent and begging for something to sedate it. They cuddled when they were alone. Spending a few hours huddled together under blankets for a movie when the others members left for other things or were too busy to really notice. On tentative nights that they stayed up late without the others near by they’d share shy kisses, careful and listening for any signs that the others were awake. Gyujin tried not to worry but he didn’t want the others to find out before Yein and him could tell them. His eyebrows were often furrowed together when they were close around the other members. 

They weren’t as shy when they were out in public oddly enough. They were more comfortable standing close together and sharing bright smiles. Yet Gyujin’s eyebrows barely relaxed. He’d keep them knitted as they were walking, worried over what rumors might spread as they walked with their pinkies linked. 

It wouldn’t be far fetched to say that Gyujin was insecure. He was worried about most of the things he did, when he didn’t think ahead he’d often reflect and wonder what he might have done differently. His relationship with Yein wasn’t something he regretted, but he was worried about how things were going. Worried about how Yein felt about it, how the other members would feel about it when they found out. He worried that things might just go down-hill, scared that one small slip up would ruin everything with Yein. He over analyzed a lot of things, thinking back on his words and worrying that Yein might have taken something the wrong way. 

His brows often closing together when he thought about Yein or tried to think things through. If it was just him and Yein together Yein would poke at his eyebrows or flick his forehead to snap him out of thought, asking what was worrying him but Gyujin often waved it off as nothing. If it was just himself, Gyujin’s inner monologue would speed off before he could realize where it was going.  
How can I surprise him? Would he like that? Would it be inappropriate to compliment him on this? Would it be too obvious is I said that? What does he see in me? Does he actually like me? Was it pity or maybe even sympathy that he wanted to start this relationship? Are we just experimenting? Does he feel like this, warm and comfortable, with me? His head often swimming in questions when he was by himself and Yein crossed his mind, the same train of thought going a mile a minute when the other members were around and he was trying not to make it obvious. 

He feared losing Yein and although he’d bask in the glowing feeling of what could be love when he was with Yein, when he was was alone Gyujin worried that maybe Yein didn’t feel the same. He felt like he was on cloud 9 with Yein and he didn’t want it to end but his nerves were telling him that it probably would, telling him that Yein would have a change of heart or that it would ruin things in the group if they stayed together. 

They were enjoying time together, they were having fun talking at a cafe together. Gyujin ended up zoning out for a bit, his eyebrows coming together as his thoughts turned to his insecurities. Thinking of how well things were going and how it seemed too good to be true, too good to last. In a similar fashion to his slipped confession, his anxious thoughts and cautions came out.  
“Maybe we shouldn’t be together. It might be best to end things.” Once he realizes the words left his mouth he regretted it, he regretted zoning out, he regretted thinking Yein might not love him. 

Gyujin looked up, shocked in himself and saw Yein’s smile drop and the brightness in his eyes dull as he looked down, blinking like he was in shock. Gyujin waits the heart hammering seconds for Yien to respond. Hoping that he’ll say something, wishing that he could turn back time, and praying that Yien will ask why. Praying that Yien will try and want to talk it out, say that staying together was worth it. But Yein didn’t put up a fight, he didn’t ask for an explanation.  
“If that’s what you want… It’s better not to strain things if you don’t want to stay together. It was nice though.” Yein’s voice was a whisper, soft, sounding broken and hurt.

They didn’t end with ‘I don’t love you’’s but with an “It’s better we not hurt each other if there’s any doubt.” Gyujin did love Yein, he didn’t stop loving him. He hated himself for hurting Yein, he hated that he worried so much over concerns that really had no ground. It didn’t hurt Gyujin as much as it hurt Yien, he could tell from the look Yein had that day and the way Yein slowly left the cafe and still got back to the dorm later than Gyujin with puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. Yet Gyujin still felt a sore on his heart over how Yein didn’t push to keep them together, to keep their story going. 

They were on their way to a happy ending, but it ended too soon. Gyujin didn’t want to admit that he spent a several nights considering how he could convince Yien that he did still want to be with him. He didn’t want to admit that he thought up ways to ask but was too afraid to act, and worried that it would just hurt Yein more if he tried to bring them back together. He ruined things himself, his let his insecurities build for too long. Despite knowing he could talk with Yein about it he didn’t. He could have seeked reassurance but didn’t notice that in his worried state. 

Aside from his own regret he noticed how it hurt Yein. Saw how Yein would look away and avoid his gaze. Gyujin flinched a bit when he’d try approaching Yein and see him visibly retract. They didn’t share nights together, rarely spent time together if none of the other members were around. Even though Yein was still kind to him, not showing any bitterness Gyujin still missed the closeness that he was so accustom to from the beginning. He missed the teasing and laughs, he missed making Yein smile and laugh effortlessly. They didn’t practice together as much as they use to, Yein wasn’t working out with him as much anymore. He saw that Yein’s expression was a bit duller towards him. He’d try to mend things, slowly trying to build back the bridge of their friendship trying not to rush their recovery. Gyujin regretted hurting Yein, he regretted letting his insecurities get the best of him, and he regretted not letting Yein know that he still loved him. But it was hard for him to not notice how whenever silence passes between Yein and him that Yein’s eyebrows would furrow seeming nervous and hurt, leaving Gyujin hoping the pain in his eyes would eventually leave and be filled with his usual brightness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gyujin is such a sweetheart and then I go and hurt him like this.  
> During Gyujin’s recent solo v app stream from what he said it seems like him and Sunyoul share a room(possibly even a bed), but let's pretend they don't for this so that Gyujin has a room to escape to.  
> If you've read my 8-Bit Heart Reader insert you might have guessed I would write Gyujin as insecure here too. He really seems like he could be insecure, the type that knows they’ve had to work hard to get to where they are but feels all their efforts could be for nothing from a single slip up. If you want to see a bit more of my interpretation of what his insecurity might be like you could check that out since I mention it more in that story.  
> Yeah I seem to be really mean to the guys that I like in this group.


	6. Ignore the Beat (Bitto)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changhyun cared for Yein. He wanted to keep him happy, so he tried his best to ignore the feelings that he'd developed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda focuses on feelings but also doesn't.   
> I do like Bitto and honestly don't want him sad.

Sunyoul was lovely and soft, Yein was something that seemed like a miracle, he was caring and protective to an extent and he had a smile brighter than the sun with a heart larger than his own being. Yein tried his hardest to work with the group, constantly trying to improve his dance and still practicing with his voice, making sure it was consistent. 

He was soft in an odd way too. Yein had muscle tone, there was little denying that but there was still a plumpness to his figure. He wasn't toned to the same extent as Kuhn or Gyujin, and it wasn't in the same way either. Yein didn't have much upper body strength, his stance could easily be moved off balance, and his movements, though fluent, weren't constantly refined. He had challenges to his masculinity and fans often commented on his apparent femininity. Yet Changhyun still saw what was to be admired in the contradictions in Yein. 

The soft slope of his neck, the fine curves and sharp angles in his face. The thick, strong thighs that carried Yein through every dance. Occasionally Changhyun would steal glances at his ass. Changhyun barely questioned it. He’d taken notice of Yein’s attractiveness but wasn't aware of how actively he would think of it. He saw Yein as being a gentle type of masculine. Nothing overbearing, and he embraced those softer sides that brought attention.

Changhyun adored his aegyo. Yein was cute without trying. The washboard abs he had couldn't counter the warmth of his smile or the shine in his eyes. It left Changhyun with a protective sense when it came to Yein. He felt a need to provide and look out for him despite knowing Yein was fully capable on his own. He wanted to keep Yein happy. Yein always looked out for him and helped him, Changhyun had no reason not to do the same. 

On lazy days where they didn't practice Changhyun often found Yein wrapped in a blanket. Changhyun would sit beside him keeping him company and bringing him snacks when asked. These days would go by with snacks shared between the two and occasionally waking each other from naps. Changhyun would catch himself dozing off after the two fell into comfortable silences. Waking with either an extra blanket or a coat draped over himself with Yein seated nearby going through his phone. He was lazy in a way that complimented Changhyun’s own tendencies. 

On stage there was Sunyoul, a bundle of talent that called for attention and that moved well with good grace. During practice there was Yein, the bundle of determination that gave his all to perfect his movements and put a strong face for fans despite how tired he’d get. Yein struggled to perfect some of the point choreography. His movements were occasionally clunky, lacking the same level of refinement as some of the other members. His flaws and holes were hidden in their performances and it really wasn't anything major but Yein still aimed for better.

Changhyun gave him extra attention when helping him. Directing his moves and correcting his posture, telling him tricks or explained the dance repeatedly. Yein tried his best, he wasn't terrible and they both knew it, but Yein wanted to improve for the group. It was something Changhyun admired.

When the group practiced Changhyun kept his eyes on Yein a bit longer than needed. Checking his position and movements. Making sure he didn't hurt himself or strain a muscle. One could argue that his eyes lingered, but Changhyun didn’t think twice about it. Between breaks he’d encourage Yein more than the others but it was negligible. While they danced, his thoughts would get sidetracked on Yein, “he’s trying so hard, he looks great.” He’d often zone out after that, watching Yein instead of the rest of the group until his attention came back. 

Changhyun was lazy when they didn't practice, but he gave his all during every practice and performance. He tried his best, he knew the others were giving their all and he wasn’t the type to slack off. He knew up10tion meant the world to each of them, so he tried to be there for his members however he could. The area he could help them the most in was dance.

He caught on to the dances first and helped break it down for each of them. Demonstrate, try, demonstrate, try, demonstrate, try, over and over until they understood. Some caught on quickly, others in groups, and the ones that lingered mastering it late. Yein was usually among the last few to catch on. 

Changhyun’s effort to help him usually ended with the two staying behind a bit longer to try a few more times. Changhyun helping to explain the moves in different ways, or trying to show him similar moves that could help him get the hang of parts of the motions. They got closer through this. Spending the extra time talking, encouraging Yein, Yein complimenting Changhyun.

The extra time didn't seem odd to Changhyun. He was just helping out Yein. Occasionally Changhyun would sigh when his words didn't help, stepping closer and guiding Yein’s movements with his hands. Gently positioning his limbs and then moving them in the right motions. He wouldn't describe himself as a tough love type but he felt words weren't always enough. If his words didn’t seem like enough he had the tendency to shut his mouth and act without much delicacy to his acts. 

Even so Changhyun’s instructions complimented Yein’s way of learning, it helped him figure out the dances more than if he kept practicing on his own or if he asked one of the others to help him. Yein would catch on quicker if he got the extra help from Changhyun, it was like that from early on. They’d practice together with Changhyun helping him and watching where it was that Yein would get stuck and then helping him work out those bumps in his choreography. That extra time spent together always ended the same, with Yein thanking Changhyun for his help and patience, and Changhyun smiling at him and giving words of encouragement and praise for his efforts, still offering more help. It would give Yein a bright smile and his eyes shone with determination. It made Changhyun feel proud that he could help the younger, occasionally showing his pride by hugging him which usually got an embarrassed laugh out of Yein as Changhyun would tease him about his flushing Cheeks. Changhyun liked that look on Yein, he wanted to keep that look on him, keep him happy. 

Yein helped Changhyun too, and he appreciated that. In the time after practice when all of their muscles were sore and they all wanted to collapse, Yein helped. Changhyun usually tried to sleep of the pain under his skin but Yein was there to give him a glass of milk, insisting it would help in the morning, before he collapses. If Changhyun collapsed before Yein caught him, he made sure Changhyun was wrapped in a blanket so he wouldn't get sick or wake with a cramp. When all of them were sore and Changhyun was just laying somewhere in the dorm sighing in annoyance, Yein would usually pop up with a few heating pads and his gentle hands. They’d sit together, resting their muscles, leaning on each other, occasionally complaining about the pain as they watched variety shows. 

Yein was also there from an emotional standpoint. Changhyun wasn't one to show many emotions. Changhyun held onto the image of a tough guy that held in what bothered him. Yein knew that and he could tell when something was troubling him. He also knew Changhyun didn’t really want help in those states of silent pain, so he'd offer Changhyun a few words to remind him that he didn't need to be alone, and then give Changhyun his space to decide if he wanted comfort. He wouldn't prod on problems unless he was sure Changhyun would be fine with it. Yein didn’t push, but he was there to be someone to lean on should the need arise. Changhyun appreciated that. 

Yein was always there for him, and Changhyun always tried to be there for him too. From the outside it wasn’t very obvious that emotions were festering. Once Changhyun realized that emotions were growing he wondered what he should do. For Bitto it could be ignored but Changhyun knew it wouldn’t really help unless he tried to do something about his emotions. He knew it was bad when he just saw Yein napping on the couch and felt warmth rising in his chest. He knew he needed to get his emotions under control when he found the words “I love him” floating around in his mind when Yein was near him.

So he tried to lock away his feelings. It would be better for the group and Yein if he didn't bother with those feelings. He could continue acting like nothing happened and hope for his feelings to fade into white noise in the background of his subconscious. 

Ignoring his own feelings he kept watching Yein. He noticed something was off with Yein though. During practice Yein was still trying but his movements were sluggish. He looked fatigued as if he was weighed down by something. He wasn’t taking up Changhyun’s offers for additional practice as much either. In the dorms he’d notice Yein occasionally waking up with puffy eyes or darker circles than usual. Something was wrong but Changhyun wasn’t really sure how to help. He wasn’t one to talk about feelings and he didn't want to get too involved incase his own feeling end up surfacing and he be selfish. 

The way he tried to help may have given off the impression of just wanting Yein to get over what was bothering him, but he did care. After practice or during break when they would all file out of the room Changhyun would always give Yein an extra pat on the back, making sure to give him a compliment to make sure he knew that he was improving. He tried giving Yein extra attention. Monitoring him to make sure he didn't hurt himself if he wasn't paying attention. 

He’d catch Yein sulking in his blanket when most of the members were out or busy. Changhyun would then grab a beer and some snacks bringing them back to Yein. He’d hand him the beer, give him a sturdy hand on the back and start drinking with him. Changhyun would just spend the time keeping Yein company when he wanted to sulk and trying to cheer Yein up when he was done sulking. 

He tried to go about comforting him with a manly friend approach. Offering a beer and company but not asking for the story, letting Yein keep what he wanted bottled up and being willing to listen when he wanted to spill. It took a while for Yein to regain most of his spirit. Changhyun was patient and still offered what help he could and trying to remind Yein that he would be around for him. 

Yein was opening back up. Practicing with Changhyun again and looking better rested. Changhyun kept working to keep his spirits up, he didn't want Yein to fall in a slump again. So he kept his efforts up and enjoyed Yein’s company. 

Nothing changed, Changhyun had ignored his feelings and ignored how his heart would beat with Yein around. He ignored it because he wanted to put Yein first. He felt his feelings and a relationship would be too much of a burden on Yein. So he kept going enjoying the time he had with Yein and trying to keep him happy. 

Although Changhyun was good at keeping his feelings stable he did notice his reserve slipping. He had tried to keep any signs from showing but his feelings didn’t fade. He didn’t know how to get rid of his crush. He considered his options. 

Throughout the process of his feelings Changhyun had tried to keep restrained since he didn't want to risk anything, but since his feelings didn't fade he felt the best way to deal with them would be to face them. Yein was in better stability and he thought it wouldn't cause much turmoil if he were to open up for once.

It was when they had a day off and Changhyun caught Yein wrapped in his blanket like usual. He offered Changhyun a snack, Changhyun accepted, taking a seat nearby. They sat together eating snacks and watching shows. Changhyun kept glancing at Yein watching as he scrolled through his phone during commercials.   
“Ah, I really like you. It’d be nice if we could date but it’s probably best not to.” He tried to be casual about it but Yein stared at him wide eyed and silent.  
“Sorry, I’m not asking you to try. I just needed to say that. I’ll go give you some space.” Changhyun took Yein’s silence as a sign to leave, so he left hoping Yein wouldn’t take what he said badly. 

Changhyun left Yein to digest what he said. Changhyun reflected on it himself, considering what he said and what he’d decided. He’d given up his chance with Yein in his confession. He’d made the commitment to move on. Even though he still felt his heart beating from his emotions. With shaky breath he tried to sleep off his emotions, having trouble calming down as he felt tears roll down the side of his face. He later woke with dry tears staining his cheeks and pillow.

He tried to act like nothing happened. Went about his day as if everything was fine. There was a bumpy start, with Yein seeming a bit caught off guard when he first saw Changhyun, unsure to stay near him. But he did anyways. Yein acted normally. Continuing to spend time with Changhyun, and he was still fine with staying near him. 

It hurt Changhyun a bit to know he wouldn't have a chance with Yein. He did want to be selfish and try a relationship since they did mesh well, but he had decided to move on. He wouldn't go back on his word, so he tried to act like it was nothing. With his feelings laid out he worked to move on. He kept helping Yein and appreciated what help Yein offered. In his efforts to ignore his lingering feelings and attempts to move on he didn’t notice the little sign of longing and confusion that occasionally passed through Yein’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really hard writing for Bitto. It's probably pretty ooc but that was kind of the point, Bitto tried to act a bit differently to ignore his feelings. Probably also a bit rambly.   
> I didn't focus on the whole falling for a guy thing for this chapter either. Bitto's pretty laid back and calm so I don't feel he'd really think twice about falling for a guy. I get the vibe that he's very comfortable with himself in that aspect.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Yein and fluff I swear.  
> As you can probably tell I haven't really been able to work on this for a while. Things are getting stressful and my school work is starting to pile up on me. I'm going to be taking a break for a while since I can't seem to focus now. I will try to brainstorm while I'm away but I should be back by late May early June. I know it's a long wait but by then my school work should be more managable.  
> Seventh Chapter will be Kuhn.  
> This series will have a few headcanons and by no means depict these guy's actual sexuality/romantic preferences or how they actually are in real life.


End file.
